So what’s the (literal) damage from five of the films’ most memorable traps?

Blow Torch to the Head

With temperatures reaching a whopping 2,000 degrees Celsius, poor Harry would have suffered first degree burns, necrosis (tissue death) of the skull, and possible death. You’ll need more than a little pile of snow to sort that out, mate.

Paint Can to the Face

It turns out there’s 3000 kg of force behind those swinging paint tins – ‘like a three-tonne van slamming into you’, according to Dr Zoe – which would have left the Wet Bandits with cracked skulls, brain damage, broken noses, severe whiplash, broken teeth and (our old friend) likely death. At least they covered one of the above injuries in the film, with Harry’s beloved gold tooth going missing.

Electrocution

Poor, stupid Marv and his big electrified skeleton face didn’t stand a chance. He gets zapped with 240 volts, which in real life would cause cardiac arrest, severe skin burns, burnt internal organs and probable death. Or, in the words of Doctor Zoe, ‘What Marv experienced was enough electricity to kill someone. Happy Christmas.’

Red-Hot Door Handle

Harry was probably asking for it after threatening to bite Kevin’s fingers off one by one, but nonetheless this 326-degree red-hot door knob probably caused second-degree burns, a destroyed epidermis and dermis (the top and middle layer of Harry’s skin). In short, some serious ouchies.

Zipline Fall

As the saying goes, ‘it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end’, and that’s exactly Harry and Marv’s problem, as apparently they’d have smashed into that wall with 14 tonnes of force. The result? Well: broken limbs, cracked ribs, punctured lungs, damaged internal organs, loss of teeth, cracked skull and almost certain death. That might, though, have ended the film on a bit of a downer.

So how could Harry and Marv have swerved these fatal injuries if they’d been real-life bandits? Dr Laughlin has some very interesting theories involving a baking tray, a nappy, some meat and more on tonight’s documentary – although we’d probably just avoid burgling houses, if we’re honest.

Get the best of Den of Geek delivered right to your inbox!